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The Willpower Instinct - by Kelly McGonigal, 2013

The main problem posed by the book:

• we are too tired to act against our worse impulses
• how to support the exhausted versions of ourselves?

The main takeaways:

• Inner acceptance = outer control
  • be kind to yourself
  • being harder on yourself leads to less motivation and worse self control
  • feeling bad leads to giving in, guilt , shame are your enemies
  • self-forgiveness is your friend
  • observe yourself with curiosity, instead of judgement
  • practice self compassion, image what would you tell a friend in a similar situation?

Other interesing ideas

Choice architectures

• make it easier to do the right thing
• reduce the self control demand
• pre-commit, make choices in advnce

10 minute rule

• will power - start for 10 minutes, then you can stop
• won't power - wait for 10 minutes, then do it

Borrowing credit from tomorrow

• we always imagine that tomorrow we will do the right thing
• but in reality, usually we will act the same way in the future as well
• so view every choice you make as a deault for all future behaviors

Reducing variability o your behavior, less choices to make

• want to eat less meat, commit for meat free breakfast & lunch (dinner can be meet)

Moral licensing

• being good gives us permisson to be bad
• this is an incorrect way to view things, don't moralize goo vs bad, instead focus on goals

Meditation benefits

• in meditation you practice the same skill as you need for self control
• you develop the habit of noticing what you are about to do, what are your impulses and so can choose to act or not to act on them
• accepting the presence of your thought, but not believeing it. Thoughts come an go, you can't always control what come to your mindth
• that's just how your mind works, and it does not necessarily mean anything
• you don't have to automatically accept the content of your thoughts, or act on them. But you could, and that's a choice that's up to you

Dopamine is just a mirage

• promise of reward vs actual reward
• mindful indulging - test the promise of reward
• do you fell stress & anxiety
• does the acting live up to the promise

Ironic rebound effect

• if you try not to think of a white elephant, it becomes impossible
• while trying to avoid the thought, it will keep rebounding, coming back
• diets which focuse on forbidding things some things to eat tend to fail
• instead of prohibitions, flexibility and focusing on positive goals tend to succeed

Surfing the urge = mindfulness training

• notice the presence of the urge, but do not accept is straight away
• urges are temporary, it will pass
• focus on feaalings hot,cold, tension
• focus on you body gut, breath
• notice the frequency and intensity of urges, does it correlates with your emotional state? feeling bad? feeling stressed?